<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>should i hide in the darkness? by YOONSONGHEE</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27514279">should i hide in the darkness?</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/YOONSONGHEE/pseuds/YOONSONGHEE'>YOONSONGHEE</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>neopronoun seventeen [9]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>SEVENTEEN (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Boo Seungkwan-centric, Coming Out, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Multi, Neopronouns, Or trying to, Other, at the end, first there's..., idek where the angst came from it just went POOF, seungkwan uses neopronouns</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-08 04:29:29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>685</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27514279</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/YOONSONGHEE/pseuds/YOONSONGHEE</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>The words were right on the tip of cares tongue yet Seungkwan's mind couldn’t stop screaming at care that this was the wrong decision.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Boo Seungkwan/Chwe Hansol | Vernon/Lee Chan | Dino</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>neopronoun seventeen [9]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2009404</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>21</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>should i hide in the darkness?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>how to use Boo Seungkwan's neopronouns:</p><p>Following this structure: he/him/his/himself<br/>Love pronoun structure: ca/care/cares/cares/careself</p><p>Seungkwan either wanted to tell his dad about his gender identity or his sexuality, I forgot halfway through writing this fic🤷🏾♀️</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Seungkwan looked at cares phone in cares hand as if it was about to come alive and bite off cares face. Ca already had cares phone open on cares dad’s contact, except the phone felt like it was burning cares hand as the weight of what ca was going to do finally hit care.</p><p>Looking over at cares boyfriends, Chan and Vernon both gave care encouraging smiles, Vernon blowing care kisses while Chan gave care a thumbs up. Seungkwan pressed the dial button while looking at cares boyfriends and gulped, listening to the phone ring and waiting for cares dad to pick up. There was a clicking sound, signalling that whoever was on the other side had picked up and Seungkwan could feel cares heart stop in its place.</p><p>“Hello, Seungkwan-ah? How is everything?”</p><p>“Hi dad,” Seungkwan said, cares mouth suddenly feeling dry, “I just wanted to tell you something.”</p><p>“Oh? What is it?”</p><p>The words were right on the tip of cares tongue, ready to let it all out, yet cares mind couldn’t stop screaming at care that this was the wrong decision.</p><p>“I heard that a carat met you while they were in Jeju so I wanted to call and see how you were doing.”</p><p>“Oh is that it?”</p><p>“Yeah, I was just curious,” Seungkwan said with a flat voice as ca turned around facing away from his boyfriends.</p><p>“Well I’m sure she talked about it a lot on SNS.”</p><p>“Yeah, but I want to hear about it from you.”</p><p>Seungkwan talked to cares dad for a bit longer before hanging up and tossing cares phone onto the bed. Sinking down to cares knees, ca buried cares face in the bedsheets and started to cry, vaguely hearing shuffling from behind care.</p><p>“It’s okay Kwannie,” Vernon shushed wrapping himself around Seungkwan’s back in a similar manner to a koala, “if it doesn’t feel right then you don’t have to tell him, nobody is rushing you.”</p><p>“I want to tell him,” the elder sobbed, “I've told you guys, the members, even my mum and my sisters. I’ve told everyone close to me but him and I don’t know why but I just can’t do it!”</p><p>“It took me a long time to tell me mum that I was interested in guys you know,” Chan said, sitting down in front of where Seungkwan’s head was laying, “I couldn’t find the words to tell her despite my dad already knowing so I get how you’re feeling now and it’s terrible.”</p><p>“But, you can’t force something like this Kwannie,” Vernon piped up again, “if you try to force it out before you’re ready, you’ll feel much worse than you do now and speaking from experience, that’s not something I ever want for anyone.”</p><p>“Thank you guys,” Seungkwan said sniffling, grabbing a tissue from the box on cares bedside table, “I don’t know why I’m beating myself up over it. I guess it just feels wrong lying to him. At least I don’t have to lie to you guys.”</p><p>“You never have to lie to us!” Chan said squishing cares cheeks playfully, “we’ll always understand and if we don’t, then it’s probably our fault.”</p><p>Seungkwan laughed at the cheerful nature of the youngest and slowly got up with Vernon still clinging onto cares back.</p><p>“Can we cuddle now?” Vernon asked with his head on Seungkwan’s shoulder, “I want to cuddle.”</p><p>“Hyungie has to be in the middle though since we're focusing on care right now,” Chan said, already hopping under the covers.</p><p>“Of course, when it comes to cuddles, it’s always care first,” Vernon said giggling and pushing Seungkwan into the bed next to Chan.</p><p>“Okay then, both of you calm down,” Seungkwan said with a small laugh, pulling Vernon into the bed with them.</p><p>Once they all got comfortable in the bed, limbs entangled, Seungkwan let out a sigh of content and turned his head first to the right and then the left to press a kiss to each of his boyfriends' cheeks.</p><p>“To be honest,” Seungkwan declared, “I would be happy to stay like with you forever.”</p>
  </div></div>
</body>
</html>